Hi, I am a part of a recent graduating batch, from the dual degree program B Tech-M Tech. I was very enthusiastic about my branch at IITB, and I was doing well. 7 semesters in, I had been part of a tech team, the Tech council, did my intern in a univ abroad, and did an exchange semester too. I had a CPI of a little above 8. On paper my life seemed good, but entering into semester 8, I was struggling with the motivation to study and keep moving forward.
I was reaching a stage where I had to decide what to do after I graduate, and I did not have a clear idea in my head. And in the 8th semester, I found myself a bit depressed to be back in my hostel room, which I hated, because of how small and gloomy it was. A lot of my good friends were pursuing a BTech, and they were graduating. I had a falling out with one friend, who I considered close, which made me anxious about trusting people, and to make matters worse, a batchmate of mine, who was co-manager with me in my 5th and 6th sem, suddenly died after falling from a train. The combination of all those things really messed with my mental health, and I struggled to drag myself to class and focus. I managed to have a pretty good attendance in most of the courses that semester, but I found it really hard to concentrate and get my work done for the courses. By the end of the semester, I failed in 2 courses, my seminar and a Supervised learning project. The summer did not make it much better. I was struggling to concentrateonmyDDP,Istartedtoprocrastinateonwork,andmysleepqualitywasterrible. Most of my close friends graduated by the end of my 8th Semester, and that loss made it harder for me.
In the summer, one of my close friends who graduated, came to the campus, and she insisted that I start going to the counsellor. I gave her my phone, and she wrote the email and sent it from my account to the Student Wellness Centre at IITB. I was not keen on going to the counsellor because I thought it wouldn't help, and I was in denial for a while that my mental health was bad. I thought I just need to try harder, and it will be okay. In the past, I was always able to drag myself out of stressful situations on my own, and did not think I needed help.
Yet, I slowly started going to the counsellor. The counsellor allotted to me was Ms. Anisha Mathews. Having to meet her, was a reason I gave myself to go to the academic area. So, I started to drag myself out of my room to at least meet my counsellor, and then I slowly started spending a little more time with my DDP. I would meet my counsellor on a weekly basis, and I would say, I did feel a little better that there was someone to check on me in this tough phase and keep tabs on me.
My initial skepticism of going to the counsellor reduced, and I felt comfortable going to her. I was also able to tell my DDP guide and HoD that I am going to the counsellor and they were supportive. I kept going to Ms. Anisha for about 5 months. And I remember having ups and downs. Some days were better and some were worse. I was having a lot of anxiety that I found hard to explain. And in November my counsellor suggested that I go and get a blood test. When I did that, I found out that my TSH levels were really low. I was really relieved at that point, that my counsellor pushed me to go and get a blood test, because only then was I able to diagnose this. I subsequently started taking a few medicines for it, and within a month, my TSH levels, became better, and by June, my TSH levels becamenormal.
I was able to graduate in the end, because my better physical and mental health helped me complete my DDP, and I also secured an admission into the University of Pennsylvania for an MS. Despite the pandemic, I was able to maintain my mental health in a much better way, than before. And if I look at my current mental health it is far better than it has ever been in the past.
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A few takeaway lessons I would like to mention are that mental health issues can happen at any time and to anyone. Don’t beat yourself about it. We are all human, and never having mental health issues in the past is not going to guarantee you to be free from mental health issues in the future. The institute has this wonderful facility, that we can approach counsellors for free, who are very helpful and positive. I was skeptical about taking help from the counsellors, but I was glad that my friend pushed me to take help. It made my final year a lot better, than it would have been if I had not gone to thecounsellor.