In my first year at IIT B I used to spend the whole day trying to study and while studying I would regularly get intense headaches and eye pain. I tried consulting many doctors on what the possible cause could be but often they would just diagnose it as a symptom of common cold and would prescribe me the famous IITB cough syrup. Even though I used to have these recurring headaches I pushed myself through my first year as I was desperately trying to do a branch change. Fortunately the first year got over and I luckily managed to get a branch change.

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After getting my branch change my academics took a steep nosedive. I got 9 FR’s in my second year and got a SPI of 0.9 and 3.16 in my 3rd and 4th semester respectively. Things got really out of hand. I was not attending my classes, I was missing my exams, missing all my meals and spending all of my pocket money on junk food. Even socially I had distanced myself from all of my friends. I used to stay in my room the whole day watching movies and TV series. Each day would seamlessly blend into the other while binge watching TV series and when all the seasons got over I would be abruptly pushed back into reality only to realise how badly I messed up everything and how I was a nobody in front of all the machau’s of the insti and didn’t have any friends. It was during this time I started to think about ending my life on a daily basis and would make several unsuccessful attempts. After some attempts I realised that I didn't want to end my life, I just wanted to be in a place where I was not constantly reminded of all my insecurities, my failures and all the problems I had to solve which seemed too overwhelming to even think about. Often my friends would try to help and would ask what happened but upon explaining they would never understand the severity and the pain I was going through. And their well meaning advice would only make me feel more guilty and helpless.

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Around the end of my second year I saw a poster for the Student wellness center in my mess and I thought let's give it a try. Initially all the sessions felt like I was not making any progress and that I was not feeling any better. Due to which I would often miss my appointments. Meanwhile my academics and my emotional state continued to be in a bad state. After around 6 months I thought I should give it a proper try so I again started to go for counselling and tried to be more regular this time but still it was difficult to see the difference. However after many sessions I started to feel better because I started to feel like Hima mam was someone I could easily open up to about anything and that she would be there to listen and accept me for who I am and would always be keen on listening more and more. Slowly I started to unpack all my insecurities, pains and problems I was facing. And I started to realise that opening up and being honest was the first step on the path to recovery.

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Over the span of the next 4 years Hima Mam was a constant source of support and acceptance for me. She was very patient with me and always stuck by my side. Slowly with her help I started to do better at my academics (got a SPI of 9.75), started to be more social, got an intern, got a close circle of friends and finally got placed !! Also more importantly I started to understand why I was struggling and about my irrational thought patterns. However the journey was not a smooth line always going up it was more like a sine wave with a small continuous upward movement. I wouldn't say I have fully recovered but I feel that counselling helped me start the journey towards recovery and also gave me a head start.

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Throughout those 4 years Hima Mam and SWC were quite pivotal for me to turn things around. Even now I feel that without Hima Mam’s and SWC’s help I would have never made it out of IITB. Therefore I feel quite lucky and grateful that I got a chance to be in touch with SWC and more importantly Hima Mam.?